Our actions and reactions are guided by our emotions. Sometimes this influence is very obvious and at other times quite subtle to be recognized. We often see emotions as a sign of weakness. We try to put them aside and try to focus on the rational aspects more and more.

No matter how strict and logical you want to be, the emotional aspect cannot be overlooked. We will always be a human being, not a robot.

Our feelings make us human beings

Material success is important and we might see our emotions as an obstacle in that. But at the same time positive emotions are a life long goal for many of us.

We want to put forth our rational side even at the cost of suppressing our emotions when success is concerned but want to enjoy life as a result of that success. People tend to put their positive emotions in the dark shadow of their negative feelings. This is one of the biggest problems we come across during our lives. There is no way to ignore a negative experience and try to replace it with positive ones.

It just does not work that way

What is more important, in the end: how much money you made during your life or how many times you laughed?.

Remember your childhood?

As a child, if your goldfish dies, you would be extremely sad. Your parents will certainly buy you another goldfish, but the sorrow still takes a long time to go away.

Things are more serious with adults. A fight with your spouse the night before will affect your entire day. You will go to work angry, tired, with your mind wandering. Then you will go home with an even worse mood. On the way from work towards home you won't be able to notice the sun shining and you won't be tempted to stop at the supermarket and buy your favorite ice cream.

All this because that one negative thought is contaminating the way you perceive the reality around you.

What to do in such moments?

Find a safe place to relax. It could be an actual location or an imaginary place. The best idea is to totally emerge yourself in it.

Go bowling! You don't know how to bowl, you say? No problem, go out and try it! Get caught up in the game, think about those funny shoes, choose a favorite ball, invent new strategies to throw and so on. Your mind will suddenly jump from the negative thoughts that dominated your last hours or days and start processing a whole new kind of information.

A safe place could in fact be anything. It can be a song, a movie, even a person. The main thing is to allow yourself to get completely involved with this new activity. You might still get flashes of the problem every now and then. Ignore them and get even more involved in what you are doing.

When the bowling game, the song, the movie or the conversation ends you will have a rather abrupt return to your problems. You will probably feel sad and want to go back to the safe place.

Do not do that.

The safe place exists only as a helping hand, not as a solution to your problems. It is there to help you relax your mind, for a few minutes or hours. This is a vital stage in your solution to what is bothering you.

You will return from your safe place with an increased energy level. You will feel better about yourself and gain more confidence that any issue can be resolved. This will allow you to solve even the most difficult problems.

Good Luck.