Like most gardeners I suspect, I find that the snail is a perennial problem. No sooner do the days warm up and carefully tended shoots emerge then .... so do the snails and, unless prompt action is taken .... no more plants!

I try to garden organically as much as possible, and my preferred method of control is to go into the garden either early in the morning or late in the evening when they are most active, collect them up, and chuck them over the hedge onto a patch of waste ground about 100 yds away. They probably migrate back again - I've often thought of marking their shells in some way to see how many times I'm chucking the same snail in one season! But on the whole I've better things to do, like turn the compost heap!

Anyway, it was while I was gathering up the most recent snail heap that I began to ponder upon the nature of these gastropodian nuisances. I did a bit of reading and realised that snails are actually very well designed to fill their ecological niche.

I took myself off to the local library and spent some time studying a natural history book, which had a particularly comprehensive snail section. From this I learned that snails have been on this planet for a very long time, much longer than us. They are cold-blooded creatures who cannot regulate their body temperatures. But they can withdraw into their shells and secrete a temporary waterproof lid over the opening. They can even fit double glazing if the weather becomes very cold. But they can't ever leave home. Their bodies and shells are permanently fused - think how hard a thrush has to work to extract the juicy snail innards from its tough outer casing.

The snail's shell grows as its body grows and the whorls turn clockwise. If you ever find one that turns anticlockwise then it's literally a one-in-a-million event!

All we ever see of the snail is its head and foot. A snail foot is like nothing else on earth, simply something muscular to move with on its own thin ribbon of excreted mucus. It moves slowly, but safely and although it doesn't like rough surfaces such as gravel, it can still move over them without harm gliding on its mucus.

As I know to my cost, snails will eat lettuce and strawberries and all manner of tender and soft garden plants. But, it's not personal, a snail is just as happy feeding on garden rubbish and weeds. It has - wait for it - no fewer than 14,000 teeth. Its eyes are on the end of its tentacles, the longer, posterior ones, which it can pull into its body if touched.

Snails are a useful food source for other creatures such as thrushes, hedgehogs, mice and shrews. Beetles and glow-worms eat them and so do 65 different species of British fly. People eat them too - but I've never quite been that hungry!

So there you have it - the common or garden snail - an interesting creature, but one which is still doomed to end up the other side of my hedge if caught molesting my hostas!