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Index Page –› Business & Companies –› Leadership & Supervision

Make Your Best Decisions - Use Yes, and No, Very Wisely

E v e r y d e c i s i o n w e m a k e , i n b u s i n e s s , i n l i f e i n g e n e r a l , i s b o u n d e d b y j u s t t w o o p t i o n s . L i k e a n o n - o f f s w i t c h , w e m a k e o n e o r t h e o t h e r - t h e r e a r e n o v a r i a n c e s t o t h i s . B e c a u s e i t ' s a s s i m p l e a s Y e s o r N o - a n d s o o f t e n w e g e t i t w r o n g . Y o u s e e i t ' s t h o s e t i m e s t h a t w e s a y ' Y e s ' , w h e n i t w o u l d s e r v e u s m u c h b e t t e r t o s a y ' N o ' a n d w e o f t e n s a y ' N o ' w h e n t h e r e a r e r e a l b e n e f i t s i n s a y i n g ' Y e s ' . S o , l e t ' s t a k e a l o o k a t t h o s e s i t u a t i o n s w e g e t o u r s e l v e s i n t o . < L I > S a y i n g ' N o ' M o r e I t i s q u i t e n a t u r a l t o s a y ' Y e s ' . W e d o i t e v e r y d a y i n o u r l i v e s a n d i t i s t h e l e a s t c o n f r o n t a t i o n a l t h i n g w e c a n d o . A g r e e i n g t o t h e w i s h e s o f o t h e r s p a m p e r s t o o u r i n n e r n e e d t o b e l i k e d , t o b e l o v e d . M a n i s a s o c i a l a n i m a l . W e l i k e t o b e l i k e d b y o u r p e e r s - a n d s o w e g o a l o n g w i t h t h e m . I n b u s i n e s s t h i s i s n o d i f f e r e n t . I t i s t o u g h , f o r m o s t o f u s , t o s a y ' N o ' . S o w e a g r e e - w e c o m p l y . A n d w i t h w h a t c o n s e q u e n c e s ? S a y i n g ' Y e s ' , w a y t o o o f t e n , l e a d s u s t o c o m p l i c a t i o n s w e c o u l d d o w i t h o u t . I n t h e w o r s t c a s e s w e t a k e o n t a s k s t h a t o t h e r s a s k u s t o d o , w i t h o u t q u e s t i o n , w h i c h g r i n d s u s d o w n , m a k e s u s b i t t e r a n d g e n e r a t e s a ' b l a m e ' c u l t u r e . W e a g r e e t o t h i n g s t h a t o t h e r s , m a y b e s t r o n g e r , m a y b e j u s t m o r e t h i c k - s k i n n e d , t h r u s t a t u s . P a s s i n g a c c o u n t a b i l i t y t o u s , w h o s a y ' Y e s ' . W a y t o o o f t e n . O n e s o l u t i o n t o t h i s i s s i m p l e . A t l e a s t p u t o f f ' Y e s ' d e c i s i o n s s o m e o f t h e t i m e . B y p o s i t i v e p r o c r a s t i n a t i o n , w e c a n p u t o u r s e l v e s o f f m a k i n g t h e w r o n g ' Y e s ' d e c i s i o n i n h a s t e - s o m a k e i t t o m o r r o w b y c o m i n g u p w i t h a f e w ' l e t m e t h i n k a b o u t i t ' p h r a s e s . B y t r a i n i n g o u r s e l v e s , o n j u s t a f e w o c c a s i o n s t o s t a r t w i t h , w e b u i l d o u r s t r e n g t h t o s a y ' N o ' a l i t t l e m o r e e a c h d a y . P e o p l e s t a r t t o r e a l i s e w e a r e n ' t a p u s h o v e r a n y m o r e . A n o t h e r s o l u t i o n , i s t o a g r e e o n l y o n o u r t e r m s . T o s a y ' Y e s ' w i t h a p r o v i s o . T h a t a n e w a d - h o c p i e c e o f w o r k c a n o n l y b e d o n e i f s o m e t h i n g e l s e i s d r o p p e d . O r o n o u r t i m e s c a l e . P u s h i n g b a c k o n s o m e o n e e l s e ' s u r g e n c y h e l p s t h e m t o r e a l i s e t h a t t h e r e n e e d s t o b e a d i f f e r e n t w a y - a n d t h e y g r a d u a l l y l e a r n t o t r e a t y o u d i f f e r e n t l y t o o . N e w ' b o u n d a r i e s ' a r e s e t . A n d e v e r y o n e w i n s . A n d n o w t h e o p p o s i t e ! < L I > A c c e p t i n g a ' Y e s ' i s O K ! T h e r e i s a c o n v e r s e t o t h e s a y i n g ' Y e s ' t o o o f t e n p r o b l e m . S o m e t i m e s w e d o n ' t s a y i t e n o u g h . M a y b e i t ' s a B r i t i s h t h i n g . M a y b e o u r ' r e s e r v e ' m e a n s t h a t w h a t e v e r h a p p e n s , w e c a n c o p e . W e c a n m a n a g e . S o t h a t w h e n p e o p l e o f f e r u s h e l p . M a k e a g e s t u r e , t h a t w e f e e l w e ' s h o u l d n ' t ' a c c e p t i t . S o w e d o n ' t . A n d t h e p r o b l e m s p i l e u p . L i s t e n u p - a c c e p t i n g h e l p , b y s a y i n g ' Y e s ' , e v e r y o n e i s a w i n n e r a g a i n . Y o u w i n , b e c a u s e y o u a c c e p t h e l p . Y o u s h o w t h a t y o u a r e o p e n t o s u p p o r t a n d y o u m o d e l t h a t i t ' s O K - t o t h e r e s t o f y o u r t e a m . T h e r e i s a n o t h e r w i n . I f y o u o f f e r e d h e l p t o s o m e o n e a n d t h e y a c c e p t e d , h o w w o u l d y o u f e e l a b o u t i t ? Y o u w o u l d f e e l a s t r o n g e r b o n d t o t h e p e r s o n w h o a c c e p t e d . I t ' s n i c e t o b e w a n t e d . O f f e r i n g s u p p o r t a n d h a v i n g i t a c c e p t e d i s a m a g n i f i c e n t f e e l i n g . B y b e i n g t h e o n e w h o s a y s ' Y e s ' y o u s h o w o t h e r s t h a t i t ' s O K t o o . A n d o t h e r s a s k a s w e l l , a n d a c c e p t . T h e t e a m g r o w s b y d e v e l o p m e n t s u p p o r t g e n e r o u s l y g i v e n a n d g r a t e f u l l y a c c e p t e d . < / L I > T h i s r e p o s i t i o n i n g o f ' Y e s ' a n d ' N o ' w o r k s i n b u s i n e s s a s w e l l a s a t h o m e . T h e s i m p l e e x a m p l e s s h o w n h e r e a r e s n i p p e t s o f w h a t t h i s c h a n g e i n y o u r p h i l o s o p h y c a n c r e a t e - t h e r e i s m u c h m o r e o p p o r t u n i t y h e r e . T o s a y ' Y e s ' l e s s a n d ' N o ' m o r e . T o s a y ' N o ' l e s s a n d ' Y e s ' m o r e . I n t h e r i g h t p l a c e s .

Author: Martin Haworth

Author Bio:

Martin Haworth

Thanks for taking a look at me! I work with people to help them realise their potential and make the most of their life. I also help managers to get the very best from their people, to make their businesses, teams, departments, whatever, to be successful.

Usually this is through my 'Coaching Managers to Coach' workshops, delivered worldwide, which includes experiential and hot-seat coaching for all participants - a great, fun learning experience. Click the big green link panel on any of the website pages!

There are over 1000 hints and tips, and that doesn't include the blog, which is updated pretty well daily, if not more often!

With a background in team management of groups from 6-300 and a great ICF coaching accreditation, I reckon I'm almost unique in my experience and training to make this work for you.

So take a look, checkout my other articles and maybe even set the blog page as a favourite:-) And, you know, if you want to get in touch, give me a call. I'll talk about almost anything, but I love helping people make the best of their workplace. Or e-mail me through the contact page on the site.

Ooops, I nearly forgot, I do manager soft-skills analysis with a programme called 'Intercept' and if you just want some one-to-one business coaching, I do that too. There's also a button on the navigation bar on the website pages for that too.

Fees, well, let me see, can I say that we can work something out? That's the way I work.

Thanks for happening by!

Martin